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Tokens Of Regard.

 

Dame Hilda: When it comes to money, Evadne’s a very careful person. Well, mean, really. Well, almost, stingy. I have known her to call the fire brigade and ask them to pump out an entire drain just because she's dropped a pound coin down it. Mind you, a pound's a lot of money to Evadne. Well, you can get three pairs of shoes for a pound where she goes. And she never pays more than 50 pence for a frock. She doesn't buy them at the nearly new shop. She buys them at the really old one. That's where most people buy bits of material for making oily rags. You know, I once took her to a rather smart Guy Fawkes night party. And while no one was looking, she swapped hats with the guy, she was over the moon. She still thinks that old Trilby is the best hat she's got and the sad thing is, that it is. No, where money is concerned, Evadne is very careful. Take Sunday morning two weeks ago. We were sitting in the drawing room having our morning coffee.

{Drawing room.}

Dame Hilda: Coffee’s a bit strong this morning, dear, Is there a drop of milk in the jug?

Dr. Hinge: Well, there is, yes. But you do get through an awful lot of milk in your coffee.

Dame Hilda: Evadne, I happen to like milky coffee. So if you'll just pass the milk, dear.

Dr. Hinge: You do know milk has gone up a penny a pint, don't you?

Dame Hilda: I didn't, dear, no,

Dr. Hinge: Well, it has.

Dame Hilda: Then if we can't pay the bill at the end of the week we'll just have to pawn the piano. Now, would you please pass the milk?

Dr. Hinge: I've worked it out that if we were a little more sparing with the milk, we could manage with a pint less each week.

Dame Hilda: What you suggest we do, sell one of the cats?

Dr. Hinge: The cats aren't the problem. You are the extravagant one!

Dame Hilda: Extravagant? All I'm asking for is a drop more milk for my coffee, it's not as though I was bathing in the stuff.

Dr. Hinge: Do you know how much money we'd save if we could manage on a pint less a week?

Dame Hilda: Oh, for goodness sake. Where's my handbag?

Dr. Hinge: What do you want your handbag for?

Dame Hilda: I'm going to give you the money for the extra drop of milk, will 2p be enough.

Dr. Hinge: That is typical of you. Every time I attempt to discuss home economics, you get silly.

Dame Hilda: I'd sooner discuss home economics with Scrooge I bet he’d let me have a drop of milk.

Dr. Hinge: Oh, here, take the jug, help yourself. And don't blame me if we end up in Queer Street.

Dame Hilda: Thank you. Well, what are you staring at?

Dr. Hinge: I don't know how you can drink that with all that milk in it.

Dame Hilda: Yes, I have rather over done it. Is there a drop more coffee in the pot?

Dr. Hinge: No, there is not.

Dame Hilda: It’s all right, dear I’m only joking. This is quite delicious. And well worth waiting for.

Dr. Hinge: Well, now that we've watered the elephant, perhaps we can get on.

Dame Hilda: The expressions you come out with just because you once had a pen pal was an elephant boy. His name was Sabu, wasn't it, dear?

Dr. Hinge: Dr. Abercrombie, and he was not an elephant boy. He was an eminent zoologist.

Dame Hilda: In every photograph he sent you, he was sitting on an elephant.

Dr. Hinge: He happened to specialise in elephants.

Dame Hilda: There you are then, he was an elephant boy. A very old ginger moustached elephant boy.

Dr. Hinge: Oh, have it your own way. Now, do you want to go through any more of this music before lunch or not?

Dame Hilda: Yes, I do, dear. Naomi’s bound to ask me to sing tonight, so we'd better take a few songs along.

Dr. Hinge: Few? you've chosen at least 70 already.

Dame Hilda: Well, you know what Naomi’s parties are like.

Dr. Hinge: Yes, I do. Dreadful.

Dame Hilda: Oh, they're not that bad. Though I imagine they're pretty dull until I arrive.

Dr. Hinge: You've chosen enough songs, surely?

Dame Hilda: Well, it is a party, dear. One never knows how long it will go on.

Dr. Hinge: If you intend singing that lot, I'd say about a week!

Dame Hilda: I’m not going to sing all of them, not unless they absolutely insist.

Dr. Hinge: They'd have to be dreadfully drunk to do that.

Dame Hilda: Actually, I did once sing all night. Don't you remember at the works concert at the car factory in Coventry?

Dr. Hinge: Yes, but that wasn't an ordinary concert. That was a sit in.

Dame Hilda: Never the less, I sang all night, didn't I?

Dr. Hinge: Yes, that's right. And the next day, all the workers trooped out with their hands up. That shop steward reckoned you'd been sent in as the tool of a ruthless management.

Dame Hilda: Well, he was a militant, dear. One wouldn't expect him to like Ivor Novello.

Dr. Hinge: All right, then. Which of these songs do you want to try next?

Dame Hilda: Well, we'll take them in order, dear. First off the pile.

Dr. Hinge: Right. And it's a woman's heart.

Dame Hilda: Oh, ‘tis Ivor Novello, ‘Perchance to dream.’ Well, I'm ready when you are, dear.

Dr. Hinge: All right.

A woman is always the slave of her heart, no matter what reason may say

She chooses her lover, till death us do part, not counting the price she must pay

For man is nature unfaithful, untrue, his creed he must follow, as other men do

But woman adoring, is faithful and true

A woman is slave to heart

 

Love comes to a maid, in varying disguise

The flame of love once lit, burns brightly and never dies

Love captures her heart, In spite of all endeavour

When she loves, she loves forever

 

A woman is always the slave of her heart, no matter what reason may say

She chooses her lover, till death us do part, not counting the price she must pay

For man is nature unfaithful, untrue, his creed he must follow, as other men do

But woman adoring, is faithful and true

A woman is slave to heart

 

Dame Hilda: Very nice, dear. The coffee must have warmed your fingers. You're not fumbling half as much as you usually do.

Dr. Hinge: Oh heavens! there’s Peter and Mandy at the garden door. What on earth can they want on a Sunday morning?

Dame Hilda: Oh, don't look so worried, dear. I doubt that they've come to borrow milk. Hello my dears, come along in.

Mandy: Thank you, Dame Hilda. Hello, Doctor.

Peter:  Hello.

Dr. Hinge: Good morning.

Dame Hilda: Sit yourselves down, then.

Mandy: Well, only for a minute, Dame Hilda. We don't want to disturb you, do we, P?

Peter: No, we don't. And anyway, the fox and ferret will be open in ten minutes.

Mandy: You needn't think you're going to the pub today, my lad, you're still in the dog house.

Peter: I've been in the dog house all morning. Woof, woof, woof!

Dr. Hinge: Would you like me to fetch you a bone?

Dame Hilda: I say dear, You're getting very generous all of a sudden aren’t you?

Mandy: Well, go on, P. Tell them what you did.

Peter: I didn't do anything.

Mandy: All right, then, tell them what you didn't do.

Peter: I'm not going to. I said I wouldn't and I won't.

Mandy: If you won't, I will.

Peter: If you do, that's your affair. I'll answer to my conscience. You must answer to yours.

Dr. Hinge: If you two would prefer to discuss what is obviously an important moral issue in private, Hilda and I can always take a turn around the garden.

Dame Hilda: You speak for yourself, Evadne. It’s darn cold that in that garden. Anyway, I want to know what's going on.

Mandy: Dame Hilda, you are going to Naomi Mellinger's party tonight, aren't you?

Dame Hilda: Oh, yes, dear. We’re both going?

Dr. Hinge: Some of us, reluctantly.

Mandy: And did you know that it's Naomi Mellinger's birthday today?

Dame Hilda: Today? I certainly did not, dear. Did you, Evadne?

Dr. Hinge: No, I didn't.

Mandy: Nor did I. But he did. Didn't you, P?

Peter: Yes, I did.

Mandy: And I've only just found out. So, of course, I haven't bought her a present. Have you, Dame Hilda?

Dame Hilda: Of course I haven't.

Dr. Hinge: Well, don't look at me. I wouldn't have bought her a present anyway.

Mandy: But little sneaky there's bought her a present? Haven't you little sneaky?

Peter: Yes, I have.

Dame Hilda: And what’s little sneaky bought her?

Mandy: Little sneaky won’t tell me.

Dame Hilda: And how did little sneaky know it was her birthday?

Mandy: Because apparently she made a point of telling little sneaky two whole weeks ago in the butchers shop. And little sneaky didn't tell anyone else.

Dr. Hinge: Might one ask why little sneaky didn't tell anyone else?

Mandy: Would you believe it? Because Naomi told him not to.

Peter: That's right. She told me not to.

Mandy: So he didn't?

Peter: No, I didn't. And I don't see why you should all call me sneaky when I haven't sneaked.

Mandy: Because it was jolly sneaky of you not to. That's why.

Peter: Well, she asked me to promise not to tell.

 Dame Hilda: Of course she did, because she wanted to make sure you would.

Mandy: That's exactly what I said to him.

Dame Hilda: She naturally assumed that you'd tell your wife.

Dr. Hinge: And she naturally assumed that your wife would tell everybody else.

Mandy: P, the information was deliberately planted on you.

Peter: Nonsense.

Mandy: You were carefully chosen as a plant.

Dr. Hinge: And how could Naomi know you'd turn out to be a weed?

Peter: I really don't see what everybody's so het up about.

Mandy: Oh, for heavens sake.

Dame Hilda: Peter dear, let us suppose that a few days before your birthday, you, being polite, said to us, oh don't buy me any presents I don't want any presents.

Peter: Yes.

Dame Hilda: And suppose we all took you at your word and we all came to your birthday party and not one of us brought you a present. Now wouldn't you honestly be a little bit disappointed?

Dr. Hinge: Well I wouldn't. I’m never given anything I want anyway.

Dame Hilda: I'm not talking to you, Evadne. Now Peter, wouldn't you?

Peter: Well.

Dame Hilda: Just a little bit disappointed?

Peter: No.

Mandy: No, P?

Peter: No, I'd be absolutely furious.

Mandy: There you are then. So how do you think Naomi's going to feel when we all turn up without presents?

Peter: I'm not going to turn up without a present. I've bought her a present.

Dame Hilda: Perhaps that solves the problem, Peter. Couldn't you say that the present was from all of us?

Peter: Well I suppose I could.

Mandy: Come on, P. What have you bought her?

Peter: I'm not telling you.

Mandy: Please, P.

Peter: No, not after what you've been calling me.

Mandy: If I was to say I'm sorry.

Peter: No. No.

Mandy: And I'll apologise properly when we get home.

Peter: What? Really properly?

Dr. Hinge: Oh for goodness sake, what did you get her?

Peter: A key ring.

All: A key ring!

Peter: Well it’s just a little token of regard.

Dame Hilda: That would seem rather inadequate as a gift from the fall of us.

Peter: It's a jolly nice key ring. I've had the fob engraved. ‘From Peter to Naomi, your secret is safe with me.’

Mandy:  I despair of him. I really do.

Dame Hilda: I'm surprised you’re even speaking to him.

Mandy: But I've had a little brain wave.

Dr. Hinge: How nice for you. I hope you waved back.

Dame Hilda: Evadne, why do you have to choose today to make your annual joke? Now, Mandy, what's your idea.

Mandy: Well, I suddenly remembered that the Health and Leisure club is open on a Sunday. And Naomi's into that sort of thing now. So I'm going to pop down and buy her a year's subscription.

Peter: And I'm going to pop down with her and have a sauna.

Dr. Hinge: Do hope your key ring doesn't rust?

Mandy: Would you like it to say it's from all of us, Dame Hilda?

Dame Hilda: No, I don't think so, dear. Thank you all the same, after all, it's not really my sort of present.

Dr. Hinge: The only facility of the Health club that Hilda ever uses is the car park. And that's only because it's near the cake shop.

Mandy: Well, if you're sure, anyway, we'd better be making tracks. Come along, P.

Peter: We'll see you both at the party then. Toodlepip!

Mandy: Bye!

Dame Hilda: Bye-bye, dear.

Dr. Hinge: Goodbye.

Dame Hilda: Oh, that Peter Moore is an idiot!

Dr. Hinge: Oh, they're both idiots.

Dame Hilda: At least she had the whit to come round and tell us.

Dr. Hinge: I wish she hadn't. You're going to worry now, aren't you?

Dame Hilda: Of course I'm going to worry. I mean, where am I going to be able to buy a birthday present for Naomi in Stackton on a Sunday?

Dr. Hinge: Why not take her a nice bunch of flowers?

Dame Hilda: And where would I get a nice bunch of flowers on a Sunday?

Dr. Hinge: Well, that stall outside the cemetery gates will be open this afternoon.

Dame Hilda: Well, I'm blowed if I'm arriving at a birthday party clutching a bunch of Madonna lilies!

Dr. Hinge: They do sell other flowers.

Dame Hilda: Yes, but Madonna lilies are about the only flowers Naomi doesn't grow herself.

Dr. Hinge: Buy her a plant, they sell plants.

Dame Hilda: Now, what would Naomi want with a plant? Her house is full of plants, you need a machete to hack your way into our bathroom.

Dr. Hinge: Perhaps you could get something from the tobacconists. Now, they're open till lunchtime.

Dame Hilda: What had you in mind, a corn cob pipe and an ounce of shag?

Dr. Hinge: If you bought her one I bet she'd smoke it, no, I was thinking more of a box of chocolates.

Dame Hilda: They don't put their sweets in boxes in that place, not even at Christmas. And if you want them in a paper bag, you have to take your own.

Dr. Hinge: Well, the only other place that's open in Stackton today is the garage.

Dame Hilda: The garage, now, that's an idea. Where have you been putting those gift tokens they give us every time we buy petrol?

Dr. Hinge: In the blue China jug on the mantelpiece, but you're not having those, they're mine.

Dame Hilda: They are ours, Evadne.

Dr. Hinge: They are not they’re mine.

Dame Hilda: How do you make that out? We always share the cost of the petrol!

Dr. Hinge: Maybe, but ever since that garage became self-service, it's been me who's had to get out of the car in all weathers and fill it up

Dame Hilda: Well, there’s a roof over the pump.

Dr. Hinge: Of sorts, then I have to battle my way across that wind swept forecourt to hand the money over.

Dame Hilda: It's not that far.

Dr. Hinge: I don’t notice you doing it,  you just sit there like Lady muck.

Dame Hilda: And who does all the driving?

Dr. Hinge: And who puts the oil in? And who pumps the tires? And who cleans the windscreen?

Dame Hilda: Well, until Popplewells garage went self-service, Mr. Popplewell did!

Dr. Hinge: And ever since he went self-service, I have. So those tokens are my perk.

Dame Hilda: If I had known you expected a tip, every time you did some paltry little job, I'd have given you one.

Dr. Hinge: I don't want a tip. I've got my tokens.

Dame Hilda: How many tokens have you got?

Dr. Hinge: 79.

Dame Hilda: Sounds a lot. What sort of gift can we get for 79 tokens?

Dr. Hinge: You can't get anything. I am going to get an extension lead for my electric drill.

Dame Hilda: But you can get an extension lead anywhere.

Dr. Hinge: That's not the point. I'd have to fork out real money.

Dame Hilda: And that hurts, doesn't it? I'll tell you what, if you let me have the tokens now, I'll buy you an extension lead first thing in the morning.

Dr. Hinge: Guides honour?

Dame Hilda: Guides honour, dyb, dyb, dyb!

Dr. Hinge: Very well then. But I shall hold you to that. And I shall expect you to put an IOU in the jug.

Dame Hilda: Oh, you drive a hard bargain. Now, where's the gift catalogue?

Dr. Hinge: It's on the occasional table, dear.

Dame Hilda: Right, got it. Oh I say, there are some very nice things in here.

Dr. Hinge: Yes, aren’t there? It's seems a shame to waste any of them on Naomi.

Dame Hilda: I say, that little pocket sized colour television's nice. How far would I have to drive to get 900 tokens?

Dr. Hinge: About 120,000 miles.

Dame Hilda: Oh, I won't manage that this afternoon.

Dr. Hinge: The speed you drive, you won't manage that before the end of the century.

Dame Hilda: Oh, look, here we are. Evadne, this is the ideal thing, a carriage clock, now Naomi would love that.

Dr. Hinge: How many tokens?

Dame Hilda: 80.

Dr. Hinge: Well, then you're one short.

Dame Hilda: Well, we must have got another one when we filled the car up yesterday evening. Have you put that one in?

Dr. Hinge: Yes, I have. So you're still one short?

Dame Hilda: Oh, never mind. I'm sure Mr. Popplewell will advance me one little token. After all, he does owe me a favour.

Dr. Hinge: For what?

Dame Hilda: What do you mean for what?

Dr. Hinge: What does he owe you a favour for?

Dame Hilda: For honouring him with my patronage, of course.

{Garage.}

Dame Hilda: Right, I'll park here, dear. You stay in the car.

Dr. Hinge: Now, are you sure you wouldn't like me to go in instead?

Dame Hilda: Oh, no, dear, no. This job requires two qualities which I possess and you don't.

Dr. Hinge: And what might that be?

Dame Hilda: Charm and tact. Now, is my lipstick straight?

Dr. Hinge: It's fine.

Dame Hilda: My nose isn't shiny, is it?

Dr. Hinge: Well, no more than usual.

Dame Hilda: How does my hair look?

Dr. Hinge: Hilda, there's a mirror right in front of you.

Dame Hilda: Which just shows how much you know about driving.

Dr. Hinge: What are you talking about?

Dame Hilda: Well, that, my dear, is what's called a rear view mirror. If I look in that I can only see behind me.

Dr. Hinge: Go on, get out. If we sit here much longer, he'll charge us for parking.

Dame Hilda: Oh, I won't be long.

{Inside.}

Dame Hilda: Good afternoon.

Attendant: Afternoon.

Dame Hilda: I don't know you, do I?

Man: No, and I don't know you either.

Dame Hilda: Small world, isn't it? Is Mr. Popplewell about?

Attendant: Mr. Popplewell’s on holiday, my love.

Dame Hilda: Oh!

Attendant: Went first thing this morning, he did. On a coach trip to Kuwait. I'm the relief manager.

Dame Hilda: Oh, I see.

Attendant: Oh, you needn’t look so worried. I don't bite. Not unless provoked. So, what can I do for you?

Dame Hilda:  Well, I've been collecting your gift tokens, you see, and I want to exchange them for a gift.

Attendant: No problem. Now, do you know what gift you want?

Dame Hilda: Oh, yes, I do, dear.  I want the carriage clock.

Attendant: No problem at all. I know we've got them in stock. Yes, yes, here we are. Now, shall I take it out of the box, so can I have a dekko?

Dame Hilda: Oh, would you?

Attendant: Of course, no problem. There you are. Just look at that, eh? You'd have to pay 25 quid for one of them outside.

Dame Hilda: 25 pounds, would I really?

Attendant: That you would, my dear. And of course, even at that price, you'd not be getting the petrol with it.

Dame Hilda: It's nice, isn't it?

Attendant: Very nice indeed. So, you'll have it, will you?

Dame Hilda: Well, I'd certainly like to.

Attendant: And you’ve brought your tokens, I presume?

Dame Hilda: Oh, yes, I've got them all here.

Attendant: Then you've got no problem, my love, have you?

Dame Hilda: Well, to be honest, I think I might.

Attendant: No, I'm pretty sure you haven't. Not if you've got enough tokens, that is.

Dame Hilda: Yes, but just supposing I was one token short.

Attendant: One short?

Dame Hilda: Suppose I needed 80 and I'd only got 79.

Attendant: Well, then you would have a problem, wouldn't you?

Dame Hilda: That's what I thought.

Attendant: But nothing that couldn't be solved, I dare say?

Dame Hilda: And that's what I hoped.

{Car horn!}

Attendant: Gawd! What idiots that, making all that din out there?

Dame Hila: It's all right, dear. I think it's the idiot that's with me. Evadne, what do you want?

Dr. Hinge: There's a man here wanting air!

Dame Hilda: Well, you're the expert in first aid, loosen his collar and give him the kiss of life.

Dr. Hinge: You’ve parked right in front of the air line, Hilda.

Dame Hilda: The keys are in the ignition, dear. If he wants it moved let him move it himself,
he can drive can’t he?

Dr. Hinge: Oh, very well.

Dame Hilda: Oh, she's so helpless.

Attendant: Got the old mother with you, have you?

Dame Hilda: Yes, dear, yes, mercifully she’s not not mine, she's Whistlers!

Attendant: Well, now, um, I've counted these tokens of yours and you're quite right, you are one short.

Dame Hilda: Yes, although I'm not by any matter of means an arithmetical wizard, I was pretty sure I was.

Attendant: So, as you get one token with every five quid's worth a petrol, I suggest you put five quid's worth of petrol in your motor and Bobs your uncle.

Dame Hilda: Sounds so simple, doesn't it? But you see, the tank is practically full. I haven't got room for five quid's worth a petrol.

Attendant: Then, how do you expect to get your carriage clock?

Dame Hilda: Well, you see, I thought Mr. Popplewell might have let me have a token on tick.

Attendant: Oh, did you now?

Dame Hilda: Well, after all, Mr. Popplewell knows me very well.

Attendant: Does he now?

Dame Hilda: Perhaps I should have told you at the outset that I am Dame Hilda Bracket!

Attendant: I don't care if you're Dame Nellie Melba, love. I can't give you a token on tick, they have to tally with the petrol sales.

Dame Hilda: But I really must have that clock today! Is there nothing you can do?

Attendant: The only thing I can suggest is that you siphon five quid's worth a petrol out of your tank
and then put five quid's worth in.

Dame Hilda: Fine, but where am I going to put the petrol I siphon out?

Attendant: Well, I can sell you a can.

Dame Hilda: How much?

Attendant: Five pounds, 99, the ordinary one, 12 pounds, 50, the deluxe.

Dame Hilda: What's the difference?

Attendant: Well, the deluxe ones don't explode.

Dame Hilda: And the others do?

Attendant: Well, they’re not guaranteed not to.

Dame Hilda: And how much do these cans hold?

Attendant: About a gallon.

Dame Hilda: And how many gallons do I get for five pounds?

Attendant: About two and a half.

Dame Hilda: But I'd need three cans to get five pounds worth of petrol in.

Attendant: That's right, yes.

Dame Hilda: It would cost me at least 20 pounds?

Attendant: Well, yes, but then you'd have a clock worth 25 quid, a tank full of petrol, a boot full of petrol and three petrol cans. Not bad for 20 quid, I'd say.

Dame Hilda: Yes. I think this is all getting a little too complicated for me. I think I’d better go and talk it over with Whistler's mother.

Attendant: Be my guest.

{In car.}

Dr. Hinge: Well, did you get it?

Dame Hilda:  No, I didn't. Mr. Popplewell’s on holiday and that pig wouldn't let me have one.

Dr. Hinge: Oh, give me the tokens. I'll go and have a word with him.

Dame Hilda: No, no, Evadne, we don't want to make a fuss.

Dr. Hinge: I have no intention of making a fuss.

Dame Hilda: I mean, if he wouldn't give me a token on tick, he's hardly likely to give you one.

Dr. Hinge: I don't expect him to.

Dame Hilda: And what's the point of going in then?

Dr. Hinge: Well, I thought as we’re here and as you can't get your clock, I may as well get my extension lead.

Dame Hilda: Oh, you are so self centred.

Dr. Hinge: Don't worry, there'll be three tokens over. I'll see if I can get Naomi something with those.

Dame Hilda: You'll do no such thing.

Dr. Hinge: Well, what are you going to do then?

Dame Hilda: Well, it's a lovely afternoon. I fancy a little drive, you know. So why don't we just have a little run out, use up £5 worth of petrol and then fill up again.

Dr. Hinge: That's crazy!

Dame Hilda: Not really. We'll have a lovely afternoon in the country and a carriage clock, all for £5. 

{Later.}

Dr. Hinge: Hilda, you really are going to have to stop and get petrol soon, you're right on empty.

Dame Hilda: Oh, don't worry, dear. This gauge isn't very accurate, you can drive for miles with it on empty.

Dr. Hinge: You already have. You really must stop at the next garage whether they give tokens or not.

Dame Hilda: Right, dear, I will. Surprising how few garages round here give them isn’t it?

Dr. Hinge: Hilda, we’re starting to judder!

Dame Hilda: Oh, that's nothing. It's probably just a bit of dirt in the whatsit, you know? It’ll clear in a minute.

{Car stops.}

Dame Hilda: Ah, famous last words.

Dr. Hinge: Second time you've been wrong in as many minutes.

Dame Hilda: Well, I don't claim infallibility.

Dr. Hinge: What a thoroughly stupid thing to do.

Dame Hilda: Then let it be a lesson to you, dear. It's the price we pay for your meanness.

Dr. Hinge: You really can't blame me. This is entirely your fault.

Dame Hilda: No. You see, Evadne, meanness is contagious and I’ve obviously caught some of yours.

Dr. Hinge: Well, how'd you make that out?

Dame Hilda: Well, if I hadn't, I'd have done what that man at the garage suggested, and we'd have three cans full of petrol in the boot now.

Dr. Hinge: Still, look on the bright side. At least we'll not be able to go to Naomi's party.

Dame Hilda: Oh, don't you believe it? After all the trouble I've gone to, I'm getting that clock and I'm going to that party, if it's the last thing I do.

Dr. Hinge: And how'd you propose getting there?

Dame Hilda: We passed a phone box just back there. So I'm going to walk back and phone for somebody to bring us five pounds worth of petrol and the extra token.

Dr. Hinge: I don't see that man at the garage doing that.

Dame Hilda: Wouldn't dream of asking him to. But I can't wait to see his face when I walk in and get my clock.

Dr. Hinge: Well, how are you going to get the petrol then?

Dame Hilda: Well, how'd you think? I'm going to phone the idiot who started all this.

Dr. Hinge: You mean little sneaky?

Dame Hilda: Yes. And with a bit of luck, I might just interrupt Mandy's apology.

 

Transcribed by Lorraine Taylor



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